The next step
Not only is this year flying whilst I feel stuck doing nothing. The Chemotherapy is done (I hope) so I am removing the details for the opening of the blog. You just have my targets. That really need some more attention now.
TARGETS
Wednesday 22nd September
For the next weeks worth of updates (which shouldn't include health updates) please see 'The Tour' page as I will be updating that page until Thursday next week. Thanks...
Monday 20th September
Not a huge amount going on today we have already been to Ikea to get a desk for the boy’s room so he can have his laptop up there it will be possible for him to have his current laptop connected to the TV he already has. From there we can stick the desk in his room which he could spend more time gaming and streaming from in there.
I wanted to pick up some extra bits for the tour, but I will be home on Thursday which means I could pick up the last few bits. You can tell I am really excited about it as it is all I talk about on here. Sorry about that.
Medically there is no update I have requested my repeat prescription, so I have enough to take with me on the trip but that aside there is very little to report at this time.
Non-medical things this week is more than anything else. I am expecting two deliveries today for things for the house. The TV is going to get better apparently but I think more so with the kids the Wi-Fi should be boosted more so and if I can set it up correctly, we could do that tonight as that should be delivered today. I haven’t seen it yet. Tomorrow is clear for me so I will be getting organised for the rest of the normal working week. Wednesday will be driving lots; Thursday I’ll be packing for the week ahead and Friday I will be checking everything and then heading off.
In other news the NFL was harsh to me this weekend. Football was harsh as well and that was the weekend done. Let’s hope for a better week for results this week. Hopefully more for you before Friday.
Sunday 19th September
Well, here I am sat at the computer again, this time planning the week ahead but with actual joy and excitement as the tour is nearly here. I will be off seeing 6 different teams playing in four new grounds for me so I can go back and tick them off the 91 list. It all begins on Wednesday followed by 8 days of ‘on the road’ updates where I won’t be on the road for all of them. As it will be a bit different from the usual updates, I had thought of putting them all on this thread. Then I have decided to make a change and create a separate blog page for the tour. I will have the plan for each day which I have just typed up so I cannot change it before each day and then I can type exactly what happened on each day so you can compare and contrast it will mean that I won’t be updating these pages for a week, but I am sure you can forgive me that as this was hatched back in the Chemotherapy days and these were the best dates for it. It also means I get to include a trip to a Premier League ground and one that I have never been to before. That is all ahead of me so what did the end of the week bring.
I went for my CT scan, which was all over and done with relatively quickly, but I still cannot work out why it will take four to six weeks for the results to filter through to the team that requested the scan. When in A&E a few months back I had a scan, and the results went back to A&E within the hour. How can the same thing take such a dramatic difference in time to produce a result? I don’t understand it and probably I will never know. The appointment for that and the recent blood tests are on the 21st of October where I have an appointment in the morning in one hospital and one in the afternoon in a completely different hospital. I won’t be doing a countdown on my phone for that one, I can tell you.
One thing I will be able to tick off the list is taking over the leadership of the weekly walking group. As the lovely Liz will be moving to Scotland leaving me in control again. When I say in control, I will be responsible for meeting and then leading everyone off and then its over to everyone else as I walk along with them. If its not green above I will have to update it! We were both nearly late on Thursday, but Liz was actually on time but was just a bit later than normal, I on the other hand was late. I was all ready and sorted then couldn’t find my phone it took 25 minutes to find it leaving me 5 minutes to get to South Hill Park. I failed and they were walking towards me by the time I got halfway across the park. I joined them and all was good. Next week I aim to be back leading again but will have to respect what Liz would like as it’s her last walk so she deserves the choice for keeping the walk going for all this time.
Well that is enough from me go and do something much less boring instead.
Wednesday 15th September
Today I had my appointment at the job centre which went the way I thought rather than hoped as it was a check that I was doing what I said. A long walk there and I was there for about 10-to-15-minute chat, and I was done. He did more talking than I did, and I was off walking home again. I’ve eaten and will be getting this completed ahead of starting some job applications. I am aware that the sick notes clock is ticking there may be other issues on the horizon, but right now things are improving so it will soon be the case that I will be told to sod off when I ask for one more sick note. Anyway, I will actually sod-off now and do something else instead. Enjoy your hump day!
Monday 13th September
Today has started slowly, I anticipated organising some job application yesterday and then didn’t do them. I thought I would tidy up my pit the other day and minimal work was completed. I am sitting here with a bit of chest pain which I am not sure about. I have been shopping and had lunch another late-night last night and I rather weak and feeble will to stop the coffee in the afternoon. I stopped typing then to take a sip of coffee. Anyway, moving onto this week, I have a couple of appointments this week. One with the Job Centre which I am not sure what to expect and then I have my CT Scan which will have a look at my internal organs. Both sound like fun and should be riveting reading for you. The tour countdown is on, and the shopping today was for toiletries for my bag. It is only my team that is letting me down with the option of advanced ticket bookings. I could have got tickets for the home end about two weeks ago. I will have a mini blog within this blog for the tour once it starts. For now, you are stuck with this boring stuff. See you soon.
Saturday 10th September
I had two appointments yesterday the first booked was having bloods taken for the appointment at the end of October. This week I have had ‘pins and needles’ in my right hand and arm but it hasn’t gone away so I thought I would get it checked out, so I went to see a GP. First up was the doctor who reassured me that it is probably just nerve issues, and I should rest the wrist and not type up these stupid blog updates as its screwing up your wrist. Which was actually very close to what was actually said. From there to hospital appointment where I was in there for about 15 minutes in total. Walk in sit down get called sit in the chair get stabbed yet again and bosh done on my way again. I get home and you will never guess what was in the post.
An appointment letter for the cancer follows up on the 22nd of September with the sarky letter about me failing to turn up to appointments or organising to have bloods being taken AND! Another form to have bloods taken. I WAS JUST AT THAT ****ing hospital I could have taken this form with me! I was not happy (understatement!). Grab the phone call the number on the letter, give up 10 minutes as its still just ringing. I dial the number the nurse gave me when I was told off for not getting bloods taken. I get through to a nurse who tries to help. I say I’ve just got this letter to have more bloods taken to do the same review I did on Wednesday. She was confused so spoke to another nurse who promised to call me back within the hour. Perfect I was going to the cinema at 4pm the call would happen before 3.30pm. Perfect! In the meantime, I pull out the letters check my calendar and my phone and start piecing everything together. I now have a details idea of what happened.
4pm, I give up waiting and go to the cinema. We get there and they’ve changed the times and we are booked on the twenty to seven show. We give up waiting and head home sitting drinking soft drinks in the rain in the garden (it was very good – honest).
At 4.50pm my phone rings.
I will explain all below, but the conversation included at least five apologies from the nurse on the line that had nothing to do with the error but actually took responsibility for the department. So here is what I pieced together reading the letters/phone calls/emails and conversations.
July - Chemo finishes and I wait for what happens next!?! A telephone appointment is made for the Wed 11th August.
Wednesday 11th August – I sit by the phone, and no one calls. So, I call the appointment’s line and get put through to a voicemail. I leave a message for a call back.
Friday 13th August – I call again and get put through to the nurses in the team after making a new appointment (25th August) who says they are unsure of the situation, but someone will call back this afternoon. They did not.
Wednesday 25th August – The telephone appointment happens, and I get told off for not having bloods taken. I point out that I haven’t had a phone call or the letter she is talking about, so I know nothing of what is being said. She promises to resend the letter and verbally makes an appointment for the Wednesday 7th September.
Thursday 26th August – Now this is where the cock-up really came to light. The letter arrives I assume it is the copy that was promised yesterday. It is in fact the original letter telling me about the appointment I had YESTERDAY! Which has arrived nearly 4 weeks after the initial appointment. From the letter I organise the blood tests straight away
Friday 27th August – Bloods taken before 9am
Tuesday 31st August – My GP calls about the test results, so they got them.
Tuesday 7th September – Have telephone appointment as mentioned on Wednesday and then told to organise a CT scan.
Wednesday 8th September – CT department calls me and books an appointment.
Friday 10th September – The appointment letter sent for a new appointment made for the 22nd of September with a request for more bloods to be taken. This is what Aimee organised on the 25th of August. It took a week for the letter to be typed let alone the forms be re-issued. Two weeks for the details to come through to me. Explaining this to the nurse she apologised and thanked me for being able to work out what was going on. She cancelled the appointment on the 22nd of September as the CT scan results won’t be ready within that time. She then booked a new appointment on the same day as my other appointment. I start to rise again, and she points out that she can see the other appointment which is in the morning so made this one for the afternoon. It takes a lot for me to get angry full stop but to get p***ed at the NHS takes a lot. I can sit all night on and A&E bed smile and drive home, but to be accused of not following instruction that were never given is another thing. Attitude can make all the difference.
We went to the cinema and the movie was s**t and actually made me angry and annoyed rather than scared. It could have been so much more, there were some fantastic ideas in there and they just shut them down to attempt a shock finally that just didn’t work. Surprisingly I felt happy at the end of the day despite all that was happened. Today I will go and visit my mum, so she better get the Max’s in the fridge and the kettle on!!!
Wednesday 8th September
I was thinking that the thing I am missing is a routine which you fall into when you have a job and then ultimately everything else will just drop into the gaps. This may have led to the lack of sleep if you look at the night before last, I didn’t sleep really at all. After struggling to get to sleep for an hour or two I saw midnight, 2am, 3am and 4am was when I gave up and got up. I grabbed an hour in the afternoon and then last evening I went up to bed around 11pm, out cold until around 10.30am this morning. Where I was awoken by the phone ringing which was the hospital organising one of the appointments mentioned yesterday. I think today should be the day I get on with organising things and getting things organised. There are so many things that I just need to get off my arse and get on with. I think today should be the day I just shut up and get on with them. Tired of just getting crapped on and it’s time to get some things sorted. Roll on tomorrow when I’ve failed again, and life goes back to normal. Let’s have a look at things and then I shall report back. I need to tidy my miniature pit in the living room as we have a small area where this desk is, and I need to sort this and free up some space again.
As a health and general update, I have four things that I need to organise appointments for. Here’s the list:
Appointments – (1 & 2) Firstly, blood tests are needed for the hospital appointment which I have just been given the date for. The blood tests are booked for later this week which are to give the results ahead of the hospital appointment which has been organised for the end of October. The details of this are unknown but is just the start of a whole new process.
(3) Thirdly was related to the phone call, that was for the CT scan which is part of the Cancer check which was what the initial blood test was for. They clearly have a standard process of trying to avoid normal working hours when they said Saturday afternoon. When I was planning to take the kids to football, of course. The next one was a Friday night, which is the option I went for.
(4) - Is for the job centre assessment which I guess I am trying to prove I have (or had) cancer, but I really don’t know the answer to whether that is current or past tense. I would like to think that this appointment would be to actually provide me with some help to find work. Rather than to just check on what I am doing to claim the support I am asking for.
That is that we have you all up to speed and now I can look around me and then see if you can tidy some of this crap up. The shelves should be organised as well.
OK less chat more action.
Tuesday 7th September
I am told that today is apparently the day, where I hear the results of the blood test which apparently sees the results of the Chemotherapy. The conclusion of this will obviously see the beginning of the next phase. How and what that next phase will look like I really don’t know but if I am honest, I do have a bad feeling about this. (to quote Star Wars (or was it Aliens?)). Let’s see if they call me this time. I have had bloods taken ahead of this appointment so you would hope they do call. I have another appointment at the same hospital later in the week where there will be more bloods taken. Once I know more about that I will let you know.
The countdown to the tour is ticking on but we are we are a day away from my little girl leaving school and starting at College meaning I am feeling old. I am amazingly proud of her performance at school to achieve the grades that she did. Moving onto A levels which is something I personally avoided as I went down the BTEC National route before heading to University and I am sure she intends to go that route as well. I wish her well and I am sure if she can better her own confidence, she will knock it out of the park. She’ll be the only one to stop her achieving everything she wants.
Whilst on the subject, my son and I attended our team’s first ‘home’ win for thirty years on Saturday and it was a great emotional day. It took about a day to take the smile off my face. It was a stunning second half and I said at the time that it was one of the most complete performances by us for years. Great day all round!
Moving onto the week ahead (yes, I know its Tuesday) today has not been very medical. A booked trip to the dump has left the car smelling a bit whiffy so went to the supermarket to buy some air fresheners to sit in the front and back seats as well as the boot as well. I just hope this works as I will be off on tour in that car in 14 days. I will give more details on that as it will involve seven days and four different football clubs to visit. Starting with Arsenal in North London, Coventry City nr Birmingham, Shrewsbury Town in Shropshire, and Rotherham United in Yorkshire. Bar the match tickets most other things have been paid for a while back when I actually had money. I have some cash put aside for the trip as well which I haven’t had to dig into yet, but it means once I am on the road once it’s gone its gone. I won’t be eating till I get home after that point. Which might be a good thing, I guess. I aim to be going prepared, with hotel rooms providing a kettle I will go pot noodle laden, no doubt. [Other pot meals available.] I am looking forward to it being on the road, maybe not being on my own for the first time on these little adventures. We try and go each season and I would normally have one of the kids with me but that is not happening this year as they have more important things to work on. Schools and colleges must come first I hope it will be good though, back on the road alone. Should I see if I can get a DVD player organised so I could write some reviews whilst sat in hotel rooms with time on my hands. I will have to find something to do, won’t I? There are a few days with big gaps in to fill. I am sure I will find something.
Anyway, I must away as I am expecting this phone call from the hospital with the news.
10:00am - no calls so far
11:00am - still no phone call...
11:32am - a phone call! but its not the hospital. It is in fact the insurance company confirming that they have received everything they needed and should be going through to my bank account. They then ask for an update when I tell them that I thought that they were the hospital and hoping for the results of the chemo. He will call back again next week for a further update.
11:52am - Another phone call!! Its the job centre chasing a form I hadn't completed months ago. I thought having a telephone assessment meant the form wasn't needed as the deadline was long passed. Today they called to chase it again.
12:00pm - No call from the hospital
12:15pm – A PHONE CALL!!!
OK the call came through… [Thoughts in blue] My first observation was that I haven’t spoken to someone so desperate to get off the phone so quickly ever! Speaking at 100mph.
She said that “My something - ‘s’ [searching google this could be NGS] levels are normal but they couldn’t get a full reading so we recommend going for a CT scan. This way it means we keep you within the planned timeframe,” Was that another pop for missing the other appointment?
She asked how I was doing otherwise, but I just had more questions.
“Well not too good really, but I have more questions first. Those numbers that you were talking about is that the reading for tracking cancer in my body?”
“Not exactly but yes. These levels will normally rise and fall within a person and your current reading is in the normal range,”
“So, does that mean that I am not showing any signs of cancer?”
“These, levels are in the normal range but can vary. As I mentioned there was some elements that were not available on the results which is why we will organise for you to have a CT Scan.”
“OK, What is a CT scan? Is that the thing I had before with the dye and the pump thing vibrating and took about 10 minutes?”
“Yes. You would have had one prior to getting the cancer diagnosis.” That’s not what I had before my diagnosis, that is what I had a few weeks back when I was in A&E, and they thought my heart was falling apart. Are they looking for something else or are they going to send me back for a Colonoscopy, which includes dye and pumping things into me? One is a walk in and done the other takes a day of preparation followed by the 20-minute process which is not the nicest thing to happen in the day.
“OK at least I know what that is,” I was doubting my own words as I said it.
“Thank you, we will organise the CT Scan and someone will contact you with an appointment.”
“Oh great, thank you!”
“Pleasure goodbye.”
Three minutes and five seconds and we are all done.
To add my summary of the current situation including my attempt to translate the above via my interpretation of what I heard. I believe that:
There are no longer signs of cancer in my bloodstream. [or body]
To be sure in this instant they will send me for a CT scan which they plan to do regularly anyway.
They are aware other issues in my blood which the hospital will be looking at and the CT scan may assist with.
I should expect an appointment with Dr Wang soon.
I will be going to the same hospital to provide them some more blood samples.
I will be assessed by the Job Centre soon to see if they can assist more with my job search. - Or cut the payments I am receiving (£74)
My insurance company support payments are about to kick in soon.
I will need to organise a new job before the end of the year. - The two points above means I have more time to do this
You can almost guarantee that at least one of the three appointments will be made for the few days I will be away.
Thats me done it'll be games tonight...
Friday 3rd September
The boy went back to school today and I am expecting a delivery of the new album from the greatest band in the world. The thing I have realised today is that the album will be in the CD format, and I don’t have a CD player anymore. I will have to sit in the car just to listen to it!! He was not in great form in the last week, but he seemed to go off OK this morning. He has also ignored my attempts at conversation recently so it will be interesting to see what happens after school today. He might speak to me this weekend and we can organise something. We should be going to football tomorrow so that might allow us to organise something.
Staying with the sibling subject my daughter went to her prom last night (yes - I am that old) but she seemed to have a great night and that is all I can ask. She has her leavers assembly today and then she starts back at the same school’s sixth form next week. I know the irony, that is that. Things will begin to fall back into routine, and I need to find a new job to create my own routine. I will get around to me as I had a bit of a change yesterday but as I haven’t explained the first part so the second won’t make any sense so I will choose my words carefully and may be just explain my feelings.
I was very close to being late, I always feel bad when I join a walking group that meets 10 minutes’ walk away from my front door and I drive to the meeting point. I was that late yesterday that I took that decision and drove there to arrive 3 minutes before 2pm. Now the important part of yesterday was two conversations the first one was whilst walking and someone told me one simple word – talk. Now even though they admitted they are bad at that themselves, but it was sound advice and one I haven’t followed recently. After the walk I sat down with someone I don’t think I had spoken to properly before and he pointed out that he has the same issue I have. He then pointed out that his tests were double my results. His was four years ago and he is going strong, and things are back under control. I said it at the time, but he would never appreciate how much that conversation could have meant to me. It opened my eyes, and they were quite closed beforehand so today I begin with a slightly more cheerier outlook but the tough times are here to stay for some time yet. I need to sort myself out and that includes my head but there are some tough conversations ahead and we will cross bridges on arrival I’d say.
For the rest of the day, I need to organise a few things and then get started on many other things there are so many things to do that I am not sure where to begin. A nice cup of tea and a movie to help me make the decision me thinks!!
Thursday 2nd September
OK for today I shall be honest and say that I wrote lots of words ahead of the new blog page for September. I then sat up last night typing some more and without reading through them all again now I can guess that there is not much flow to the paragraphs below so I will now try and merge things together. I feel I should start by discussing yesterday and then move on from there.
If you haven’t read the post from yesterday, then I attended the funeral of my Auntie Pam yesterday and it was the perfect send off for a perfect lady. The fact we were there was a complete shock to us all and if I am honest it took yesterday to realise that the numb feeling was still there. In the crematorium it struck me, and the rest of the day was spent with mixed emotion, and I am struggling to decide whether to mention one half here but I will make that decision soon. The day itself was a fitting send off and Pam’s immediate family should be proud of the day and the send off they gave. Obviously, many tears were shed but there were also many smiles and conversation about what a lovely and caring person she was. Speaking to family I hope I managed to speak to everyone as many would ask about me and it was great to catch up with their lives. As I have pointed out many times if you took my nan and grandad and then calculated the family just from them there are over 100 members. They had 8 children and now their children’s children are having children so the Hymans are spreading, and the world will be a better place for it, if they are anywhere close to Pam. My mum is now the eldest of those children and she was treated like royalty which was fantastic to see. The venue was good, and I am sure they were glad when we finally left them in peace. Well, done to all and thank you and finally goodbye.
Having a blog about me I guess I should go all self-narcissistic and talk about me for a while. I will start with some of the targets about as I came second in a race for my perfect job and second is nowhere when there is only one job available. So, I will go back to the top one which I have not only screwed up but made matters so much worse. The 33 target has gone completely in the wrong direction and now sits at 38. This was a real disappointment to me, but I have myself to blame. Today I may be back leading the walking group I haven’t told anyone this, but I might just give it a go and see how we go. Have plans for the garden and the house which has to happen soon but again I need to get my finger out about that.
Walking is happening again, but I am some way off the first challenge of the Tourette’s Action walk which is from Hampton Court Palace to the National Heritage site of The Spike in Guildford. Holidays are a thing of the past at the moment so the earliest could be next year for a trip to Scotland and a tour of Scotland with Mim. [Side Note for Mr West – the pint in Bristol will have to do as I cannot do anymore of that business]. The major walk is some way off and will be judged after the Hampton – Guildford walk so that won’t be until next year. House mentioned earlier and the enjoy life is a very difficult thing to catch up on. That last one looks very difficult at this time, but we will have to see.
To update on the cash situation at the moment as mentioned I am trying to claim on the insurance for the mortgage, but they are waiting for GP surgery to complete the form. I chased and the doctor came back to me to say that he had completed the form two weeks ago and doesn’t know why it wasn’t scanned and sent over then. Not great! I went to collect my new sick note and was given the form and not the certificate. That has been scanned and sent over so hopefully they are up to speed. The job centre has been sent their copy so hopefully they are up to speed as well. I will conclude the financial side of things as I am not one to beg for money (I need to quickly interject here that we haven’t reached that stage) and would hold out for as long as possible, before reaching that point. I have also prepaid for a lot of things that are going to be happening later this month. I am really hoping that this trip will actually cheer me up a bit as I am honestly down at the moment. I guess I could just do with a shot in the arm of the happy, happy, joy, joy, department.
In this household we have two autistic people who are preparing for returning to school and starting college which, I am proud of both of them. However, they are both building up to these events and struggling to find a coping mechanism. What I am struggling with is the promises not being kept and letting themselves and me down. This hurts more than I can say or show and all you want to do is help and support, but you feel like finding a light switch in the dark. You believe it’s there somewhere but unable to find it you flounder around and get no further forward.
As mentioned, I will be away from home for nearly a week at the end of this month watching football matches at various places around the country and I am really looking forward to it. Unusually this year I am going alone which may be a good thing for my mental health which is at a low point. The plan was with the end of the Chemo to have a break do something I enjoy and go to an away game which I try and do at least once a season. Two birds and one stone business.
Health front I am expecting bad news soon and yesterday I felt like I was lying when people asked me if I was ok. If you are me then, you smile and say “Yeah, I am doing ok and things will get better soon,” when internally you are thinking the complete opposite and feel that doom and gloom is just around the corner. I felt like a liar even though I really know what the future holds and there are further medical appointments coming in the near future which will paint a clearer image of what the future holds. I am just guessing myself what that will be, and I am painting a bleak picture. Yesterday was not the day to bring those thoughts out and I am not exactly sure I should be sharing them now. There was one conversation yesterday with various different people saying I’ll be next when I am thinking exactly the same thing. I did not say anything as it wasn’t the time or the place, but I am convinced the clock is ticking. I don’t want to be negative, but this is how I am at the moment, and I am just waiting for a phone call or simply not wake up. Which might explain why I cannot get to sleep and still awake at 2am and 3am looking at YouTube on my phone or staring at different things around the room. Giving the dog a cuddle or just lying there not feeling comfortable not feeling much and thinking of ways of easing this situation for everyone else.
The optimistic side of me has countdowns on my phone and there are a few things on there. Starting with the Iron Maiden new album arriving tomorrow. Which is also the same date that my boy goes back to school. Because of that I have my daughters date for going to college on there so I can see both dates at the same time. (That’s in seven days). The tour that I mentioned starts in 19 days, but I have the feeling that medical appointments will screw that up as well. As no doubt I will have an appointment during those days. I will be tempted to drive back and then go back again. Then there is Halloween which is 59 days away and finally Christmas which is 115 days away and earlier this week I saw Christmas decorations in shops. Yes already. It is almost unbelievable, but it is what it is.
I am dashing off now as the walking group is happening and I am going to miss it!!
Wednesday 1st September
It is with some sadness that I begin a new page in this blog. I normally like to start the month with plans and optimism which I will try and drag in later but today hearts and thoughts are really elsewhere.
I feel I try to update this blog with a smile on my face despite the shit going on around me. I will put a funny spin on something I’ve done or said to embarrass myself but get the feeling across. Today will be a difficult one to articulate into words. However, I will try. We all know there are certain things in this world that will always happen, and death is one of those things. Despite this factual knowledge I never believed this day would come. Today is the funeral of my Auntie and I never thought it would happen. Every family get together she would be there with a smile on her face and a spring in her step. She was kind and thoughtful and when I say that I mean to other people. The thing is that she was always there, and I just believed that she would always be there. For me this news was a complete shock, and I am struggling to find a way out from the numb feeling I’ve had. Today will be a sad day and it will mean different things to many different people. Memories will play a big part and for me I remember visiting her and having the breakfast of a king every morning. I remember the trips to Butlins and some of the stories there. Which brings me back to stories with my dad and its having lost him that I can only guess how her immediate family are feeling. I wish there is something I could do, to ease the process but it is something you have to go through in your own way. Having kind people around is something that can help. I on the other hand had to (or felt like) dealing with it alone. A day doesn’t pass without a thought of my dad or a little reminder here and there.
There are also times like now when I speak to him and ask him for support, strength, and wisdom. Although he probably wouldn’t have given any himself, but he would have been a calming influence on me to bring me back down to a point where I could work out the right decision myself. It neatly leads into how I am beginning this month as I wanted to start with a list of great things I have planned for this month and if I am honest, I am too flat to be bothered bringing them up now. Tomorrow or the next few days is when I will try an update on me, and I am struggling to put those words together as well. As for today it is not about me but someone else much more important than I.
Goodbye my Auntie Pam…
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